and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
