Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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