I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
please come you make the beer taste better
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just found puke in my bra..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
