I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he shaved USA in his pubs
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
