Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
