Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
