6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize