you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
