There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
