Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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