PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize