the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
