it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
