i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
