Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You have to summon your inner elephant
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
