his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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