You made me cry and you don't even care
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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