Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
