You smell like stripper and shame
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
