I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
