I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
