i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
