alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
