Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
