your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
