....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
