Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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