how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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