69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize