lets start a swedish sibling band together
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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