Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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