i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
