She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
