As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
