My friends, they love my intelligence
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My penis needs a shock collar
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
