she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
