Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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