Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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