dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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