I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
