i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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