Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
