They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
