I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
