Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
