I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Duck Duck Cougar?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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