we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
