THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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