Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
