So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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