A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
