Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
