if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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