why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We have started to decorate penises.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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