I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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