But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize