OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize