im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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