He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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