So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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